It has become a daily routine in my life – a positive routine though- that after waking up in the morning, washing my face and brushing my teeth I always look into the mirror and smile, as if to start my day with an optimistic attitude. No matter how efficient this method has been proving itself, considering being in the middle of a professional grumpy nation, I just feel good doing it as a personal gesture of good will at least toward my own human nature.
That morning wasn’t like any other one; you don’t wake up everyday on a phone call telling you that someone passed away. Not just “someone” but someone who is young, gentle and affectionate. And not just that but most importantly, a friend.
I thought that it has become personal this time; it seemed like it’s the first time death comes that close taking someone whom I really knew.
Well…here I go making everything about me again. But isn’t that what it’s all about anyway; we grief about losing dear people although we do realize deep inside that they must have gone to a better place. It is actually about us missing the good ones in our lives. And even though you might haven’t been seeing them everyday, not even every week it just hurts that you might not be seeing them anytime soon.
I was talking to a friend yesterday and we were thinking that death is actually ironic.
Especially in a world where death has become part of our audiovisual subconscious since not a single day passes without you read, hear or see people die everywhere and every time around the globe, it has become just another piece of news that we got used to and we take in cold blood. Only when it hits someone of our own that we feel its gravity again.
Yesterday morning, I woke up, got dressed and left. Being inexperienced it took me a while to figure out why the whole day felt awkward. It was because I forgot to smile; it was because a dear one was lost.
*In memory of Sami Haddad (Dec. 1985- Aug. 2007) may he rest in peace.
